The Truth About Love
by MaidenStar
Summary: A little scene I imagined should take place after Series 1 Episode 7 Brothers In Arms . Marian takes a walk in the forest whilst reviewing the day's events before meeting up with a certain outlaw. R/M fluff.


**Ahem Yes well hello, this is my first story on here so I thought I'd limit it to a simple one-shot.**

**Basically this is just a little fluffy scene I imagined should take place after Series 1 Episode 7 (Brothers In Arms). Marian takes a walk in the forest whilst reviewing the day's events and other events in her life before meeting up with a certain outlaw. R/M.**

**Disclaimer: Well obviously I do not own Robin Hood or the characters as if I did Marian would not be dead. I also do not own the scenes in italics as they took place during Series 1.**

**All reviews much appreciated, I'd love some constructive criticism!!**

The truth about love

_"Tell me the truth." It was a demand, the way a parent speaks to a child._

_"The truth?" she couldn't believe it. He was acting like he owned her. So he wanted honesty did he? She'd never be his._

_"The truth is this country is being choked to death," she spoke through clenched teeth, repressed anger and hatred finally finding release, bubbling to the surface. "The truth is honest people are being forced to lie and cheat and steal. And if you really want to know the truth you should know that I…" _

_"What?" he sounded bored; completely fed up. It was like he just wanted to see her hang and be done with it._

As it was Marian had never been so relieved as when she felt the heavy metal necklace slip into her hand, still warm from being in Robin's. The relief was overwhelming. She didn't even know exactly what she was relieved about most. She was relieved that she would not hang, that her father would not lose another loved one. Maybe she was just relieved that she didn't have to finish that sentence.

What would she have said? The little thought kept running through her ever busy mind. She knew her father would have called her reckless, always jumping in without considering possible alternatives, it was the reason she'd had her hair cut off only a few weeks ago and there she was, about to admit her…loyalty to Robin Hood. It worried her that occasionally, as she ran the scene through her mind umpteen times, the words _'you should know that I love Robin Hood'_ would burst through the shield she'd wrapped around those particular feelings and memories like a reckless child that won't be silenced.

But of course, it wasn't true - as if she could still be in love with him after all this time, after he'd left her. He'd scorned her by choosing glory over love…hadn't he? She was supposed to still be angry with him, in fact she wished she was still angry with him. Rage was simple, a carpet of emotion that didn't need to be questioned or thought through; after all she was perfectly justified…wasn't she? It was this new emotion – some may call it love – that was quite intolerable, always making her question everything she had once been certain of, always leading to a lot of inconclusive thought which, more often than not, lead back to a certain outlaw. In place of certainty she now had doubt and in place of anger she had more doubt.

She would have to content herself with the thought that she only ceased to be angry with Robin because he had saved her life. Not that he'd done much saving if she was honest and once again she felt herself thinking '_better late than never'_. True, he'd managed to give her the necklace and without that she'd be walking to scaffolding for sure but she'd brought him all that time, she'd shared small talk with Guy long enough to distract him and she'd managed to bluff her way through a big speech about not loving Robin and wanting to marry Guy.

Immediately, without any thought, she mentally scolded herself, half of that was no bluff; she did not love Robin. But then again, she did not want to marry Guy either; she detested him if she was to be brutally honest. He was violent, nasty and stared – no, leered – at her as if she was an object and not a real person and the idea of marrying him frightened her; she did not want to marry a man she did not love. But she knew that she could admit her fears to no-one because many could not be trusted to know her heart was not in it and those who could, like her father, would be too upset by her feelings. As for Robin, who probably could be trusted, he would probably say it served her right or be quite joyous that her happiness was faked. She could just picture the self-satisfied grin that would jump to his face and yet, despite this, she still couldn't shake the guilt she felt when she had closed the shutters and seen that look on his face – so hurt, so dejected – betrayal was written over his features, after all he'd just helped to save her life, had tried to win her back. Without her permission her conscience began to replay some more of the day's stressful events, reminding her of just how betrayal affects people.

"_Do you know the worst crime a man can commit?" Guy was looking at Marian like a child again, as if he could not expect a woman to know the answer. She was not really concentrating, her ears could not zone out of the piercing screams of an innocent man. A man Guy was having tortured._

"_A murder?" she murmured distractedly, thinking of the imminent death of the poor man,_

"_Betrayal." That one word sent a shudder through her – could he possibly know? Was the torture of his sergeant just a sick way to calm her and confuse her? "My sergeant swore loyalty to me and then he stabbed me in the back he hasn't admitted it yet, but he will."_

"_Admit what?" At least she knew she was not being suspected of anything._

"_We set a trap to flush out a spy; an unguarded cart. Someone told Robin Hood."_

"_But…what if it was not him?" she felt sick, as if she was about to faint – it was her. She had told Robin and now an innocent man, probably with a family to feed, was dying._

"_He was the only one that knew. He was the only one I told." _

"_Please Sir Guy, do not do this." She just wanted the poor man to go free._

"_You understand loyalty? The importance of loyalty?" his eyes roamed her face,_

"_Yes I do but –"she was scared, surely the noise of guilt – her rapidly beating heart – would give her away at any moment. How could he not hear it?_

"_He must pay for his crimes." Guy did not care. He just folded his arms and walked away leaving Marian with the torturing thought that one day her double life would catch up with her and Guy would make her pay too._

Marian could not bring herself to think that maybe she had betrayed two men today; Guy who perhaps deserved it and Robin who certainly did not. No matter what she thought of him he had always _tried_ to do the right thing and he deserved more thanks than hearing her say she despised him. She felt guilt twist her body in that awful knot that makes you feel scared, embarrassed and ashamed all at the same time.

Her thoughts engulfed her as she traipsed back home, taking the familiar path through the forest. Perhaps, under the circumstances, taking a walk through Sherwood had not necessarily been the best idea. A sharp crack abruptly cut her thoughts off as her body went tense and her senses tried to focus on any little sound or movement. Another crack and the breathy rustle of autumn leaves somewhere right behind her brought her twirling round, only allowing herself a second to catch sight of a tall figure right behind her. She lashed out before she identified them striking a quick, harmless blow to their hooded face, noting her mistake without time to rectify it. Robin let out a small shocked cry and his hand darted to his cheek.

"Marian! It is me, Robin!" he let his hood fall back, "although I have a sneaky suspicion that you knew it was me," his words implied a light hearted tone, especially when he began but the end of his remark was low and crestfallen.

"No, I'm so sorry Robin, by the time I realised it was you it was too late. I truly _am_ sorry," she widened her eyes in that gesture that Robin could never ignore; if she wanted something, he'd give it to her, if he was angry with her, he'd forgive her, if she was bribing him, it worked, without fail. At the same time she lifted her hand slowly, giving him time to back away and when he did not she brushed her cool fingers against the burning spot on his cheek, barely skimming his skin and she knew that it probably hurt less than his pride. His eyes locked onto hers – a reflex reaction from the old days and when he realised that his mind was not in the present, only lodged in the past the heat spread as a faint blush graced his cheeks but did not linger. He wrenched his eyes away, seemingly with great difficulty.

"Yes well…," his voice went low and gruff and he awkwardly cleared his throat, "it doesn't matter. It didn't really hurt," she let her hand fall from his face that was oddly illuminated in the evening light, his features possessed a chiselled effect giving him the image of a breathing statue. She wished she could just walk away, she wished she had the ability to shake her feelings away but that knot of guilt just kept tightening.

"Well, maybe not but I have hurt you today, haven't I Robin?" she kept her voice low, to avoid a confrontation or any hostility although she did not truly expect any.

"What? N-no, not that I recall," he seemed uncomfortable with the situation and took a stride forward, indicating that Marian should do the same, "you should not be here, your father will be worried. Quite rightly too, it's not safe out here at this hour, I'll walk you home."

"You know, I think I'd prefer it if you just shouted at me, I do deserve it,"

"No you don't, it's ok," his eyes betrayed him; it obviously was not ok. His chivalry was more than she expected, she should never have been so harsh on him.

"Robin, I do not despise you. I think you are a good man – no – a wonderful man and you did not deserve to witness that scene after breaking your back to save me. You do not have to believe me but I am _so_ sorry."

"It is fine; it wasn't as though you had much choice. I never congratulated you, did I?"

"No it isn't and you don't _honestly_ believe I wanted to marry him?"

"Yes it is and, well, no I didn't but I just wanted to be safe," he smiled at this last remark and it made her heart flutter.

"Well, just to clear up; I am sorry for that, I do not despise you and…I do not love Guy," she realised just how much of a contradiction that had been from earlier – how false society had become. She had been right; people had been forced to lie and cheat and even steal. She continued to walk in time with Robin, noticing that they had fallen in step with each other; neither of them knew what to say. Every so often his arm would brush hers and she couldn't deny the sparks she still felt when his skin contacted hers.

"I probably deserved to hear it, I know you've never forgiven me for leaving," his voice seemed to quiver when he spoke as if it hurt him too. She didn't know what to say, nothing seemed right, they were only a few minutes from Knighton and she didn't want to part on such a subject, she had wanted to apologize.

"Robin it's not like that," she couldn't help but meet his gaze, just at the moment she needed to concentrate on the path. She caught her foot in a hole in the path and her ankle twisted painfully. She let out a shocked cry and landed heavily on her side. Robin was beside her in a second his arms wrapped around her to lift her up. His face, tensed with worry, was inches from hers, his breath tickling her cheek,

"Marian! Are you alright? Have you hurt yourself?" his concern only amplified her guilt; everything he had done today had been kind and caring and sweet. She had only hurt him.

"No, I don't think so," she muttered as he helped her to get up, "only my pride. And my dress" she examined various stains on the pale green fabric as water from the damp ground soaked patches of her skin making her shiver in the chill evening air. Every so often her ankle would twinge painfully making her fall into Robin as he helped her walk the short distance to Knighton. In one quick movement Robin shrugged out of his dark green jumper and she felt him drape it about her shoulders in a careful movement.

Just as the Knighton stables peeped into view she turned to Robin and said, "Robin – I _was_ angry at you for leaving me. I was hurt. It was a long time ago and I was but a girl. I forgave you long before I was ready to admit that to anyone; as much to myself as to you." She stopped to look at him, he loosened his protective grip on her shoulders and a happy look lit up his features, as if Marian had just told him she had still loved him.

"I'd like very much for us to be…friends again. If we could just stop all the animosity between us." She knew that once again she'd hurt him.

"Friends?" it wasn't an angry exclamation just a meek question – totally out of character.

"Yes. For now. Friends." She tried to be firm and keep her resolve, she would not allow herself apologize for her decision – for wanting to take it slowly and needing to examine her feelings herself before offering them to him.

"Oh. Ok. That's fine – more than fine – great." He didn't sound like he thought it was great, "I guess I'm just lucky that you forgave me." She could see that it hurt but her wounds were still as freshly healed as his, she just needed time. He smiled at her – a sweet genuine smile – and placed a hesitant kiss on her cheek.

"Well, I guess I'll see you soon." With that he turned and walked off. It was not an angry gesture or a dejected one; it was just the right action for the moment. It had a sense of finality, a sense of closure; their anger had ceased and it was time to forgive, forget and move on.

She had loved Robin and he had hurt her by leaving but she knew that Robin was aware of that. Marian hurt Robin today and she knew that the worst punishment for either of them was the guilt that burdened them, marking them out more starkly than any scar ever could. She realised now that Robin had punished himself more than she ever would. She could have called him back and told him her thoughts. She could have called him back and let him hold her, embrace him back. But she let him walk away, there was no need for more words; words were inconsequential now because no matter what had Guy said she _did_ know the truth. She knew the truth about love. One day Robin would know that truth too.


End file.
